Anger Management
Anger management refers to the process of learning to recognize signs of anger and taking action to deal with the situation in a positive way.
Anger is Self Harming
There was once a very young, promising monk who lived with his master in a monastery. He was an excellent disciple, a handy craftsman, a spontaneous helper and often a delight to be around. But he had one noticeable issue: whenever he got disturbed by someone during his meditation, he would lash out on them without any consideration. His master noticed this happen on multiple occasions, even as the young monk grew wiser in his other faculties.
Years rolled on and one fine day, the master told the disciple "You are initiated. You are free to leave my nest. But.." paused the master, "You must meditate in the loneliest place on Earth for 12 hours, without any breaks, and that is the final task I am going to give you."
The disciple was a little irritated, to be honest. "How am I going to find the loneliest place on Earth? How does it even matter that I meditate there?" But true to his master's final wish, the young monk set out on a journey to find the loneliest place on Earth. After months of restless search, he heard from an old tribesman of a tiny, natural pond inside a forest on the top of a mountain. The monk told himself "Even if someone tried to climb the mountain, they would not dare enter the forest, let alone search for this obscure pond."
A few days passed and the monk finally reached the pond, pushed by his determination to fulfill his master's final wish. Once there, he wasted no time and built himself an impromptu boat. He got on the boat and rowed himself slowly to the center of the pond. It truly felt like the loneliest place on Earth and the young monk couldn't be happier.
He set himself down on the boat and began mediating. A few hours later, there was a sound of something tugging at the monk's boat. Without opening his eyes, the monk thought to himself "I am in the loneliest place on Earth, nobody could have possibly followed me." But just minutes later, the monk felt a knock against his boat. The monk had never been so furious in his life before. Convinced to give whoever it was a piece of his mind, the monk opened his eyes and.. there was nobody. Nobody.
Surprised, the monk looked down and saw that it was a stray log which had struck his boat. In that moment, he achieved enlightenment! All these years being angry and not once did he realize that nobody else was responsible for his anger, but him alone. He was the creator and consumer of his own anger. And if he alone was responsible for his anger, then it also meant that he alone was responsible for his happiness.
So, the answer to the question everyone keeps asking me is simple. Every time I feel like shouting at someone or being really angry at something, I slow down and ask myself "Who is responsible for all this anger?" More often than not, the answer is "Me." If you find yourself getting a different answer, I suggest you set out on a journey to find your obscure lake inside a forest on the top of a mountain.
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MORAL OF THE STORY
Whenever we get angry, we have to understand that we are only the creator of that anger and also the consumer of it. Hence it is futile to be angry.
Anger is a Worthless Emotion
There once lived a very short tempered boy. One day, his father handed him a bag filled with nails.
He told the boy that every time he burst out in anger, he should hammer one nail into their fence.
On the first day, the boy hammered 37 nails! With each passing day however, the number of nails he hammered came down. The boy realized it was easier to control his temper than to hammer nails.
A day came when the boy did not hammer a single nail, for he had not lost his temper at all. He announced this to his father with great pride.
The father merely smiled and told his son, “Now, pull out a single nail for each day that passes without your losing your temper.” This too, the boy did. After several days, he could tell his father that there were no nails remaining.
The father then held the boy’s hand and led him to the fence. “Well done, son. But see these holes. This fence will never look the same. That’s what words spoken in anger do. They inflict scars that never disappear.
MORAL OF THE STORY
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Hence it is futile to be angry. Anger inflict pain on self as well as others.